It has been three years since my last blog post and that was a one time post prompted by one of Molly's friend who loved reading my blog and witnessing Molly growing up. Since then life has been chaotic as we had to cross some uncharted territory. Without going into too much detail we gave DCF custody of Peter in an effort to get him into an amazing program, the Susan Wayne Center of Excellence in Putnam Connecticut. He lived there for one year and then came home and completed his senior year of high school in Rocky Hill in June of 2019. Now we are working hard to figure out what to do with our very adult son to help him coexist with his siblings while working hard to become independent in his own right. We are still involved with the incredibly complicated social services system as we try to get Peter assessed for Department of Mental Health Services while also acting as his conservator and working on some health issues. Molly is in her senior year of high school at Mercy and ready to graduate in May. In addition to dealing with the challenges of our first child to move away for school and, quite frankly, how to finance that very big endeavor, we also have to find a way to prepare her for the real world which includes a job, a car and balancing her own budget. She is a kind human and smarter than she thinks she is but college is always an adjustment and we want her to have any skill she can to be successful. My heart always aches when I think about Molly leaving home but I am also so proud of her confidence and strength in wanting to do it.
The three little girls are loving their new schools this year. Annie moved to Griswold Middle School where she has blossomed in an environment that seems to feed her soul. She has an on team teacher (homeroom) who totally gets Annie's learning style and has her waking up excited to go to school every morning. After years of struggling in school because of her surgeries and hearing issues, Annie has established firm footing at GMS and has her two aunts (Karla and KK) there to support her just in case. Lizzie and Ellie were fortunate enough to be a part of the first class of fifth graders to enter the brand new Moser School that was just built in Rocky Hill. They both have teachers that they love and are flourishing there. We continue to monitor carefully the special education services that Ellie is getting to make sure we set her up for the most successful academic situation possible. As the years go on Ellie struggles more and more in school and requires additional support but we are fortunate enough to be in a town with ample services and expert teachers and aides.
Bob and I will spend the rest of our lives sneaking moments of time together and getting less sleep than we probably should in order to stay up late and talk once in a while. We require a good deal of family support for our everyday activities and sanity so requesting babysitting services isn't always an option but we still laugh, snuggle and make time for each other whenever possible. There will be plenty of time for us once the kids are on their own so right now we just enjoy the chaos and try to create happiness for our family even in the stressful times.
We experienced an overwhelming loss when my cousin Eileen died suddenly at only 45 years old. Over the last year the shock has dulled and the reality that each day is precious has become a resounding legacy of Eileen for me. When I look back at how I wish I had acted differently- been more present and loving with Eileen - I realize that had she not died I would have never realized how utterly unappreciative I was of the time I had with the people I love. I don't know that I ever fully grasped the blessings of our large family of givers. We are never promised another day or another moment and Eileen's legacy for me will always be the chance to reevaluate my place in the world and the person I am. Every human being deserves openness, love and kindness and each day I try to be a role model of that with my kids. My mom always tells me I don't have to be perfect and I am far from it but I do believe that being a daughter, a wife, a mother, a cousin, an aunt and a friend is a gift I was given and I have an obligation to try to be the best I can be. It's hard to believe how much I still am learning at 48 years old but I am so grateful to have the best role models in my parents, aunts, kids, cousins and friends. I'm not sure what I did to deserve the blessings I have but if there is one thing I am learning it is to cherish every single moment of them.
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